Everyone knows the ever popular lyrics by Loverboy, “Everybody’s working for the weekend” (gosh that a catchy tune). But did you know that 80% of people in America actually DISLIKE their jobs? That takes this tune to a different tone. It goes from fun song to sad reality for far too many people.
I mean when did this happen? Do people just start off hating their jobs, or does it quietly progress until one day you realize you are nearing mental death?
Boiling a Frog
My guess is that the process happens similarly to boiling a frog.
If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump out. But if you put it in a pot with room-temperature water, turn the burner on low, the water starts to heat up slowly. Before the frog can perceive danger and jump out, he’s dead. He gets comfortable in that pot of water, and as he slowly cooks, well that’s the sad end to that story.
Wow, nothing like comparing my life to a dying frog in some hot water, ha!
Could it be though, that so many people are unhappy because they are in a pot that feels somewhat comfortable, and therefore, they never sense the urgency to jump out and find the pond?
Even though the pond is what their heart desires, and it may be closer than what they realize?
This post isn’t a sad story like the frog; this is a story about being able to recognize when your pot is starting to heat up. Except in this story, you know to JUMP! You get out before you die!
How though? How can we be the smart frog that escapes even if we’re already in the pot? Well for me it meant learning some critical lessons from a job I didn’t like.
That’s the great thing about this story. If you are in a job at this very moment that you hate, that’s ok! That job is your teacher in helping you get out of the water that’s starting to heat up. Your current job reality is not your future if you don’t want it to be.
Here are the invaluable lessons I learned from a job I didn’t like.
My job showed me what I didn’t want
Gosh when I started working this job five years ago right out of college, I was a girl just trying to find someone who thought I was worthy enough to hire for a mediocre administrative position. I had no idea what I wanted out of a career or what direction I wanted my life to go. I just knew I was supposed to work somewhere and get these dang student loans paid off!
The further I got into the corporate world, the less exciting my life felt. The monotony consumed me. For a while, I just thought this was normal and based on what co-workers said, just part of life (cue the burners please). The truth is, we shouldn’t feel unexcited about the work we are doing. And if someone says it’s just part of life, well then, they are wrong!
If you are in a job right now that you dislike, use those feelings to your advantage. Use them to leverage clarity on what it is you don’t want, and focus on what COULD make you happy. From that resourceful emotional state, ask yourself empowering questions about how you could make that a reality.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Steve Jobs
My job taught me how to work with others
Communicating with others is perhaps one of the best life skills I learned during my five years with a company that employed around 9,000 staff members.
The thing is, even if you hate your job right now, I will guarantee that you are getting exposure to working with other people. And the more people you communicate with, interact with and have to resolve conflicts with, well, the more prepared you will be for your next endeavor. Because no matter where you work, even if you start your own business, at some point, communication with employees, clients, or business partners will play a vital role in your success. The grass is NOT greener on the other side. No matter what job you have, there will be interactions and conflicts that are unpleasant. It’s the means and efficiency in how you deal with them that make all the difference.
Even if you feel like your current co-workers are the worst, look at it as a challenge. Maybe they have an entirely different personality than you are used to dealing with, or maybe they feel just as drained and run down as you do. Either way, this is an opportunity to examine different people and dynamics, and if you to take the time to come up with real conflict resolution, then you will be far ahead of the game!
I’m telling you, the number 1 thing that I learned while working this job was that if you have good people skills, you will get ahead!
“knowledge or experience are important and might get you a job, but strong communication skills are what will get you promoted” – Mireille Guiliano
You will never be able to escape communicating and interacting with people, so you might as well practice getting good at it!
Someone saw value in what I had to offer
It is a basic human need to feel as though we are contributing in some way. Although your current job reality may not feel as though you are contributing much, that is not the case. Someone has entrusted you with responsibilities to some degree. Depending on where you are with your career, they could be big or small.
Don’t focus on the size of your responsibilities, instead, realize that someone hired you because they believed you could do the job! They saw something of value that you could offer.
Build your confidence off of that momentum. It may just be a front desk job or a sales job, but the reality is that the business couldn’t run without it! I mean heck if you have a reception job that’s a huge compliment. You are the face of that business.
The truth is, if you’re in a job you dislike, your confidence may be a little down. Feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt could be spitting some strong game at you. But think back to why that company hired you and get your work mojo back! Realize that they saw something in you and you have incredible talents to offer.
I had to let someone down
I had daydreamed about the day I could waltz into my bosses office, hand him a resignation letter, and do my happy dance on the way out!
When the glorious day came for me live out my dream of resigning, I was frozen solid in my effort to walk into my bosses office and tell him. I was consumed with different emotions. I was baffled at my physical inability to walk in there and tell him. My hands were shaking, and palms were sweating…why was it so hard for me? Why did my fantasy feel more like a confusing, sad loss?
After I went home that evening, defeated by the strange emotions that kept me from telling him, I realized something.
After being with this organization for five years, I had absorbed a lot of responsibilities. On the one hand, it was awesome, I had gotten a few promotions, and was making decent money. On the other hand, I had become more and more vital to the organization. Specifically, they had given me an important program to run.
That was it! GUILT! I knew the role I had grown to play and the adverse effects it could have on the program by me leaving. I didn’t want to let my boss down, after all, he was the one who saw something in me and mentored me as I moved up in the short amount of time I was there.
But here’s the lesson. I HAD to let my boss down because it’s what was best for me. Letting him down was by far this hardest lesson to learn, and it taught me something so valuable.
Life is going to present us with opportunities, but not every opportunity is going to be the right fit. You may have to let someone, or maybe many people down at times to follow what’s in our best interest, and what we truly value. But I would rather jump out of the pot then boil alive for the sake of not letting someone down.
Take Away
There are valuable lessons to be learned when working at a job you don’t love. You don’t have to see your job as the enemy, see it as your teacher. If you will practice the lessons it teaches you; you will get out of the boiling pot. It may take a few tries, jumping from one pot to another, but you will get out if you keep moving. Eventually, you will get to the beautiful pond of fulfillment.
“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” Steve Jobs
I left my 9-5 job about a month ago. It was a beautiful, bittersweet feeling as I leaped out of a pot that was getting too warm. Taking the lessons I learned, I joyfully left a place with a full heart and clear eyes.
Leave a comment if you have taken a big leap out of a job. What lessons did you learn?
Take one small step today,
Xo-Jenna
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