Emotions are a mysterious thing. They are constantly impacting our thoughts, decisions (or indecisions), our state of mind, the way we feel, and the action we take. Essentially, they are running the show!
I have mentioned in previous posts, that although we like to think we act out of intellect, it’s our emotions that drive our decisions.
Here are some typical examples of how we act out of emotion rather than intellect.
People know that consuming large amounts of fast food and sweets will lead to weight gain and health conditions, but they proceed to eat this way. Everyone knows that smoking causes cancer and disease, but people continue to light up one cancer causing cigarette after another. Consumers are aware that racking up credit card debt will cost hundreds of more dollars in the long run, but that new item is just too good to resist.
WHY!? Why do we continue to sabotage ourselves?
I’m convinced it’s because of the short-term emotional pleasure we feel. We push the voice of reason to the side and indulge in behavior that feels so good, for a moment. Can you relate to this feeling? I know I sure can!
We are so quick to go for that brief moment of pleasure without realizing that those seemingly harmless behaviors are slowly giving up our long-term happiness to pain.
Think about it, when someone spends years smoking, indulging in the short-term pleasure it brings, it’s not until years later when the pain of those actions catches up. The same goes for someone who racks up credit card debt. Out of sight out of mind, right? Not really. That’s the lie we tell ourselves for brief moments of short-term pleasure.
The Secret
Tony Robbins says that everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain, or our desire to gain pleasure.
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” – Anthony Robbins
This is an eye-opening secret into why people continue to make bad decisions and not follow through with what they say they want. There is a constant battle going on in our brains; we are searching for and making decisions based on things that bring us pleasure and avoiding things that bring us pain.
The feeling of quitting smoking seems more painful than the possibility of a future health crisis, and it feels pleasurable to continue the habit.
This is where I think people get trapped… settling for short-term emotional pleasure, even if it causes long-term emotional pain. That’s where we get derailed from creating lasting change.
When I had the idea of starting my blog, my first response was NOT to do it. My brain thought it would be more painful to put myself out there, risk rejection, and possibly fail. Thankfully, I was able to redirect those thoughts.
I was able to recognize that FEAR was the driving emotional signal that disguised itself as short-term pain. But on the other hand, EXCITEMENT and PASSION were the long-term emotional signals that ultimately drove me to take action and start my blog.
That’s the real secret. Understanding the difference between our emotional signals. And then basing our decisions on the one that has our long-term happiness and fulfillment in mind.
Keep the big picture in mind
When we want to start something new, whether it be a business, a project, a diet, a way of life, breaking a habit, etc. We first have a powerful positive emotion that drives us to make that decision, something positive drives us to think of the possibilities. Here are the 10 emotions of power from Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! 
- Love and Warmth
- Appreciation and Gratitude
- Curiosity
- Excitement and Passion
- Determination
- Flexibility
- Confidence
- Cheerfulness
- Vitality
- Contribution
In my case excitement and passion led me to the idea of this blog.
However, with those emotions of power also came negative disempowering emotions, such as fear and inadequacy. Tony Robbins explains negative emotions in a very interesting way that I had never considered:
“The emotions you once thought of as negative are merely a call to action”
“realize that the emotions you are feeling at this very moment are a gift, a guideline, a support system, a call to action. If you suppress your emotions and try to drive them out of your life, or if you magnify them and allow them to take over everything, then you’re squandering one of life’s most precious gifts”
Could it really be that we have misunderstood the context of our negative emotions all along? Maybe we have never given them a chance or tried to understand what they mean. Since they signal pain, our brain is too busy trying to keep us away from them. Interesting!
Tony actually refers to negative emotions as “action signals”. I love that! What a productive way to evaluate what they are communicating to us! These are the 10 action signals he discusses in his book:
- Discomfort
- Fear
- Hurt
- Anger
- Frustration
- Disappointment
- Guilt
- Inadequacy
- Overload or Overwhelm
- Loneliness
Use “Action Signals” to your advantage
In order to grow, change, evolve, and expand, we are going to face situations that feel a little uncomfortable. Ok, maybe majorly uncomfortable!
Our initial response to the emotional signal of discomfort will translate into pain if we let it. And since we know that our brain will do its job and try to keep us from pain, we have to look at discomfort in a different light. We have to look at ALL disempowering emotions in a different light.
It’s critical that we understand that disempowering emotions are positive action signals and each one of them offers us a message and solution to the anticipated pain that we want to avoid.
I highly recommend Chapter 11: The Ten Emotions of Power from Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!
By understanding “action signals” (negative emotions) I have been able to change my perception on how I evaluate what messages they are sending to me.
Now, when I feel an “action signal” while making a big decision I’m not perceiving that means pain. That is HUGE! I’m able to recognize it and deal with it through understanding the message and creating a solution before it gets out of control.
When I felt fear and inadequacy about starting my blog, I looked at the messages they were sending me and quickly took action to keep them from getting out of control before they turned into pain.
Just changing the word “negative emotions” to “action signals” is a critical step in the process. I have written a lot about words and vocabulary and how they have such a significant impact on what experience. You can check it out here.
“Think of your mind, your emotions, and your spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful, nourishing harvest is to plant seeds like love, warmth, and appreciation, instead of seeds like disappointment, anger, and fear. Begin to think of those Action Signals as weeds in your garden. A weed is a call to action, isn’t it? It says “You’ve got to do something: you’ve got to pull this out to make room for better, healthier plants to grow.” keep cultivating the kinds of plants you want and pull the weeds as soon as you notice them.” Tony Robbins
What weeds have taken over your garden? It’s not too late to start pulling them up and learning how to keep them from coming back and taking over!
Take one small step today,
Xo-Jenna
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