Do you have those days, or weeks, where you have an overwhelming sense of frustration? Maybe it’s your job, maybe it’s your spouse or kids, or maybe it’s just life in general.
Feelings of frustration consume a lot of us at times, and it’s hard to get ourselves out of that state of mind effectively. At least that has been the case for me.
Sometimes one particular thing that is frustrating can make it seem as though everything around us is falling apart. And in reality, it’s not.
I want to give you some small steps that I find helpful in getting myself out of a frustrated state.
1.) Don’t use the word frustrated
In my last post, I discussed how intrigued I have been with the power of our words and how they have the ability to create what we experience. I particularly discuss why I’m eliminating frustrated from my vocabulary. You can check it out here.
When we say and think to ourselves that we are frustrated, we embody that state of mind and make it our reality. Instead, try saying you are feeling a little challenged. By using a more empowering word, it automatically makes us feel less frustration.
2.) Recognize what’s really making you feel frustrated
Think about what it is that’s truly making you feel this way, without generalizing. Instead of, saying my job is frustrating, think specifically about which area in your workplace is causing this emotion. Maybe it’s a conflict with a co-worker or a big project that you have coming up. When we can pinpoint where this is coming from, we can be a lot more effective and persistent about coming up with a solution.
Once we know where the frustration is coming from, ask yourself some empowering questions:
- What can you do today to make things the way you want?
- How can you enjoy the process while you do what is necessary to make it the way you want
- What is one positive thing about this problem (I know, crazy, right? Just try it!)
3.) Let your negative emotions drive you to positive action
When feelings of frustration take over, it’s no secret that it causes negative emotions. If we let it, those feelings will keep us parked, stuck, and in a puddle of self-pity. But what if we used those negative emotions to our advantage? What if we used them as fuel to drive toward positive change? Now we’re getting somewhere!
Our negative emotions don’t have to be a bad thing. They are simply a reminder that we are not happy with our current course of action. We can use that bad feeling (maybe even thank it for helping us recognize that something isn’t working) for positive action. We can use it to create a solution and hopefully never feel that way again.
4.) Don’t let fear hold you in a frustrated state of mind
Maybe you are feeling frustrated because fear is holding you back from doing something, or making a decision that would get you out of a challenging situation. Fear feeds our frustration if we let it.
I encourage you to step out in faith if fear is holding you in a frustrated state of mind. Take a step toward that thing that scares you. I love this quote by Helen Keller “life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
5.) Understand that your problems are NOT permanent
This is such an important thing to remember! And it goes back to why I don’t like to use the word frustrated in the first place. Here is why, this is the definition of frustrated: feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, especially because of the inability to change or achieve something. When we are using a word to describe our state of mind that gives the sense of inability to change, it makes the situation seem permanent.
Throw this idea out the window! Your feelings of frustration are NOT permanent, I repeat, NOT permanent. This is the grand illusion we create for ourselves through our words and thinking. I encourage you to step away from that thought, and into the idea of possibilities.
When we step into the mindset of possibilities, it makes our frustrating situation seem more like a project than a problem. If we approach frustration as a project then we can aim our efforts and design a plan to achieve a particular result. This mindset releases the idea that our current situation is permanent.
6.) Think about others
This one may throw you off for a second. How could thinking about others get me out of a frustrated state of mind? Well to give some tough love here, a lot of the times when we are frustrated, we are consumed with thoughts of ourselves and how it’s negatively affecting us. We are engrossed with our problems and how they are making us feel so lousy.
Step back for a second and don’t think about you and how it’s making you feel. Instead, think about what you are saying and how you are acting while you are in a frustrated state. Ask yourself this question: Is what you’re doing going to bring light into someone’s life?
If you behave like I do when I get frustrated, then the answer is no, ha! I believe that when we focus our energy on others and how we can be a light in someone else’s life, our problems start to fade. I have adopted a new motto for my life: what can I give others, instead of, what are they giving me? This is how I approach my marriage, my work, this blog, my family, my friends, and any interaction with strangers. Now that’s not to say I’m perfect at it (I’m certainly not). But I do make a great effort to keep this mindset. And let me tell you, it changes your life, the happiness it brings, and the joy you experience makes frustration seem so small.
“Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way.” – Earl Nightengale
7.) Take 5 minutes to breathe
When you feel yourself starting to fall into a frustrated state of mind, take 5 minutes to step away. If you have to hide in the closet from your kids or shut your door at work, make it happen! It’s important to take a quite moment and put the above six steps into practice.
Take a couple of deep breaths, close your eyes, tell yourself you are just challenged, not frustrated. Try to pinpoint what’s making you feel this way and ask yourself empowering questions. Let your negative emotions drive you to take positive action. Don’t allow fear to hold you in this state. Repeat to yourself that your problems are not permanent. And most importantly, think about how you can be a light in someone else’s life.
Take a minute to meditate or say a prayer and open your eyes. Return to your situation in a new and refreshed mindset and see how that weight has been lifted.
I hope this has been helpful for you! Are there any other ways that you get yourself out of frustrated state? I would love to hear them!
Take one small step today.
xo-Jenna
Leave a Reply