Words are the foundation of how we communicate with others and ourselves. They make-up our thoughts, and are the driving force behind our actions. They are what express our thoughts and how we perceive thoughts from others.
How we use words can create or destroy. They can build people up, or they can tear them down. Words can inspire, uplift, encourage, motivate, and show love. They can also, hurt, oppress, condemn, and show hate. Words are a double-edged sword, and we must use them very carefully.
It’s fascinating when we think about just how powerful words are. Not just for communicating with others, rather, how and what we communicate with ourselves. When I think about the words I use, my attention immediately focuses on the words I speak. But where do those words come from? They come from my thoughts! Interesting, so before we say anything, the words we are thinking result in what we say, and ultimately what we believe and experience.
So what happens when we habitually think and use disempowering words? Do we start to make that our reality? Absolutely. You know the saying, “you are what you eat,” well I believe “you are what you think.”
Word Swap
For this reason, I’m making it a priority to step back every couple of months and chooses three words that are inevitably disempowering myself and the people around me. I want to stop choosing words out of habit and give them more thought and consideration. I want to expand and transform my vocabulary to match the experiences I wish to live.
Recently I have felt like there has been a decent amount of negativity in mine and my husband’s vocabulary about our jobs. I feel as though our habitual use of three words were bringing down our emotional state.
1.) Frustrated
2.) Overwhelmed
3.) Stressed
Those are the words that are currently challenging us. While reading Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins, he encourages you to partake in an exercise where you write down disempowering words that make you feel lousy and come up with more empowering words that break your negative emotional state. I had to share this exercise with you. The impact I have seen just in two weeks by swapping out these three little words has been incredible.
I decided to swap these words without telling my husband at first because I wanted to see how my use of vocabulary affected him. So I bet you’re wondering what new words I used to replace the old disempowering ones?
1.) Frustrated – Challenged
2.) Overwhelmed – Some imbalance or in demand
3.) Stressed – Busy or Blessed
From Frustrated to Challenged
So one of the hurdles we have been facing is my husband growing his business. So often he was using term frustrated when things weren’t going the way he hoped. And I would follow-up with, honey I know you’re frustrated, but things will get better (I was reinforcing the word) and adopting it into my vocabulary as well.
Frustrated: Feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. What I realized was that because of this word, my husband’s current road block in his business seemed as though he was unable to change it, his problem seemed permanent. What a disempowering thought!
Eager to make my husband my guinea pig for my new empowering words, I couldn’t wait to try them out on him. Without prompting, our conversation at dinner quickly went to his frustrating day. Here was my chance! I said, you know babe, I have been thinking, and I don’t believe you are frustrated. I think this situation is a little challenging and you just haven’t figured out exactly where you need to be focusing your time and energy to grow the business.
AHH, you guys, I’m telling you, with that one little word change, that one little swap, my husband’s mind immediately shifted. I could see him start to think, I could see him start to examine, and the ideas started flowing! He seemed excited even! As though he had realized for the first time that this wasn’t permanent, it was a challenge. And my husband loves a good challenge, how do you think he ended up with me :), ha! Kidding!
Frustrated was putting limitations on us, it was projecting permanent problems and blocking our creative solutions from flowing. Challenged is interesting, it transforms our problems into puzzles which require us to try things out, move some pieces around and work towards putting the whole thing together.
From Overwhelmed to Some Imbalance
I’m so bad to throw this word around for just about anything. I used to say going to the grocery store was overwhelming! On a more serious note, I most often use this word to describe how I feel at work. Especially recently while I have been working on my blog in the evenings and weekends.
Overwhelmed was making me feel defeated and at times it made me question why I was putting all this extra work on myself. However, that was not what was going on. I was in fact just feeling some imbalance in the schedule I had created for myself. It wasn’t that I was defeated at all, actually creating the blog was making me feel alive and excited. I just needed to be mindful of the extra work and make sure and schedule personal time for myself to recharge.
I have completely wiped this word out for the past few weeks, and it’s like a weight is lifted! For my husband, feelings of being overwhelmed come from running his business. From managing staff, finances, and everything else that comes along with having your own business, it can rest heavy on your shoulders.
I have started encouraging him to see it that he is not overwhelmed, rather, in demand. And why is he in demand? Because he runs a business that he loves! He is his own boss and gets to run things as he wants. What a great way to break a negative emotional state.
From Stressed to Blessed
Stress, talk about the English language’s most used word, ha! Stress is probably the word that my husband and I use more than anything to describe our jobs. I don’t know about you, but we throw this word around ALL THE TIME! And ya know, I have had enough of it.
Stress has such a negative connotation attached to it that even the happiest of things can fall victim to its evil grasp. How many happy moments in life are trumped by stress? Things like weddings, birthdays, Holidays, and too many other things to name, are often robbed by stress. And in reality, we are not stressed, we are so blessed.
My husband and I are not stressed by our work, we are busy, and we are blessed to be able to provide a great life for ourselves. I’m not stressed about creating this blog; I’m blessed that I have the opportunity to write and share my thoughts with the world. Wow, what an incredible lens to look through. Seeing your life as blessed, not stressed!
We are all busy, but that doesn’t mean we are stressed! I encourage you to get rid of this negative, disempowering word once and for all. It has consumed our minds long enough!
Final thoughts
I hope this breakdown of why I choose to replace three of my most disempowering words was helpful!
I’m going to do every few months and share with you! I would love it if you would join in with me and see how transforming your vocabulary can change you and the people around you! If the words I choose don’t resonate with you, then choose words that are more relatable to you!
Transforming our vocabulary to empower ourselves is such a small step. And it’s a small step that has such a significant impact on what we experience in our lives!
Take one small step today,
Xo- Jenna
Leave a Reply